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The Witches of Bielefeld 
War Poems and Notes 



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^3) GUS L. GOETHALS 



CLAYTON, CALIFORNIA 



CopjiiRht: — 1917-1918. 
Bv GUS L. GOETHAL8 



m 29 IS 18 




WOODROW WILSON 

President of the United States 



^[Jrrfari 



It is a far cry from the battle of Marathon to 
the battle of Flanders, from the year 490 B, C, 
to the year 1918 A, D,, yet there is a great 
similarity between the two great struggles for 
liberty, The battle of Marathon is named as 
the first decisive battle in the history of the 
world, King Darius sent his satraps, Datis and 
Artephernes, with a force of one hundred thous- 
and men from the Celician shore against the 
coasts of Eubea and Attica, They landed near 
Marathon, On the slope of a hill overlooking the 
plain of Marathon, in plain sight of the invading 
Persian horde, a council of war was in session 
at which were present the War-ruler Callimachus 
and ten Athenian generals. The immediate sub- 
ject of their meeting was to decide whether 
they should give battle to the enemy that lay 
encamped on the shore beneath them. The 
Athenians were but ten thousand strong, and 
although they were hopelessly outnumbered, five 
generals voted to give instant battle and five 
were for awaiting reinforcement, which had 
been promised by the Spartans, The War-ruler 
then was to cast the deciding vote, Miltiades 
was the leader of the five who were for attack- 



ing the invaders without delay and lie thus ad- 
dressed the War-ruler: 

"It now r<'sts with you. Calliiiiacliiis, eitlior to en- 
slave Athens, or, by assurins lier freedom, to win your- 
self an immortality of fame, sueli as not even Harmodius 
and Aristositon have acquire<l; for never, since the 
Athenians were a |ieoi>le, were they in such danger as 
they are in at this moment. If tlicy bow the knee to 
these Medes, they are to be s'i^f " "P t<> Hippias, and you 
know what they then will have to suffer. But if Athens 
comes victorious out of this contest, she has it in her 
to become the first city of (ireece. Your vote is to 
decide whether we are to .join battle or not. If we do 
not bring on battle presently, some factious intrisiie will 
disunite the Athenians, and the city will be betrayed to 
the Medes. But if we fight, before there is anything rotten 
in the State of Athens, I believe that, provided the gods 
will give fair i)lay and no favor, we ai'e able to get the 
best of it in an engagement." 

The vote of the brave War-ruler was gained; 
the council determined to give battle, and such 
was the ascendancy and acknowledged military 
genius of Miltiades, that his brother-generals, 
one and all, gave up their days of command to 
him and cheerfully acted under his orders, 

From one quarter only and that from a most 
unexpected one, did Athens receive aid at the 
moment of her great peril, Thirty years before 
the Plataeans being hard pressed by Thebes, ap- 
pealed for help to the king of Sparta, who ad- 
vised them to place themselves under the pro- 
tection of Athens, They did so and under that 
protection they succeeded in retaining their 
freedom. Now when it was noised about that 
King Darius had sent an army for the destruction 



of Athens, the Plateaus mustered one thousand 
men who marched to Marathon, where they ar- 
rived on the eve of battle and placed themselves 
at the disposal of Miltiades, This help, which 
came unasked and most unexpected, though 
numerically small, did much to augment the 
fighting spirit of the Athenians and forms one 
of the most affective episodes in the history of 
ancient time, 

At the battle which took place immediately 
after the arrival of the brave and grateful Pla- 
taeans, the Persian invaders were most decis- 
ively defeated, 

We now come to a parallel historical event, 
when General John J, Pershing, placed at the 
disposal of General Foch the American forces 
under his command, at the most critical time of 
the German drive last March, That offer electri- 
fied France; enthused the British army; thrilled 
the Italians, the Belgians and Portuguese and 
placed an immortality of fame upon each and 
every American of the present generation, The 
brave Plataeans did much to help win the victory 
at Marathon, and the equally brave Americans 
were, figuratively speaking the last straw that 
broke up the assault of the Huns, Like Miltiades 
Foch was placed in supreme command by and 
with the consent of all Allied governments and 
their. people. In that offer of General Pershing 
and in the co-ordinating of all the fighting forces 
under one supreme commander the hand of 



President Wilson is most plainly seen, And the 
historians of the future will acclaim our President 
as the foremost man of this, the most moment- 
ous and critical time in the history of the world, 

Now let us go back two thousand years, to 
another statesman and a leader of men, and 
leaving out his military genius, the prototype of 
Woodrow Wilson and that statesman's name is 
Julius Caesar, and his experience with the Ger- 
mans is strikingly similar to that of our Presi- 
dent so I will relate some of Caesar's acts, and 
leave it to the reader to make his own compari- 
son between the two Caesar the Roman and 
Wilson the American, 

In the year 59, B, C, Ariovistus, the king of 
the Germans invaded Gaul, Caesar, wishing 
to avoid war if possible, sent word to Ariovistus, 
asking that lie meet him at some neutral spot 
to discuss the situation. The German king re- 
plied that if the Roman had anything to say to 
him he could come and say it, and added that 
it was none of Caesar's business what he was 
doing "in my part of Gaul which I hold by right 
of the sword", Caesar replied by warning 
Ariovistus, not to bring any more Germans into 
Gaul and to release the hostages which he held. 
The German reply was that he, Ariovistus, had 
always been victorious, and challenged Caesar 
to try his hand, Caesar accepted the guage of 
battle forced upon him and by an amazing and 
rapid march appeared with his Roman legions 



at Besancon, The tables were turned and Ario- 
vistus asked for a parley with Caesar, The 
conference proved not only Linsatisfactory, but 
was abruptly terminated for the Germans, dis- 
regarding the armistice, treacherously attacked 
Caesar's bodyguard, 

Three years later the Germans again marched 
to invade Gaul, this time selecting a route 
through Belgium, Again the Romans made a 
quick march and met the invaders near Cleve, 
Once more the Germans asked for an armistice, 
which Caesar granted, and again the Germans 
violated the armsitice by treacherously as- 
saulting the Roman troops, Caesar refers with 
deep indignation to "tlie base deception that 
first asks for peace and then openly begins war" 
and declares that the Germans by their act "had 
put themselves outside the pale of negotiation". 
In Caesar's commentaries on the Gallic and 
civil wars he first mentions the Belgians, "Of 
all the Gallic races," he says, "the Belgians are 
the bravest," 

The great Roman general everywhere demon- 
strated by word and act his fondness for the 
Gauls and his deep detestation of the Germans, 
He says; "In all finer things of life the Gauls 
are greatly superior to their ancient antagon- 
ist," and he hardly ever mentions the Germans 
without showing his hatred and contempt. He 
describes them as harsh, uncivilized violent 
people whose whole life is absorbed in war and 



whose relations with foreigners are niarl<ecl l3y 
treachery and a disinclination to observe treaties 
and agreements, He refers to them as "that 
treacherous race" which is l^red up from the 
cradle to war and rapine, And yet after two 
thousand years we find no change except for 
the worse, for now they murder without respect 
for age or sex, and as a pastime tiiey mutilate 
their victims. Small wonder that the whole 
civilized world today entertains the same opin- 
ion of the Huns as was expressed by Julius 
Caesar two thousand years ago. 

So the Allies are determined to gain a com- 
plete and decisive victory over Germany, and 
they accept Woodrow Wlison as their spokes- 
man when our President in effect says; "We 
do not figlit for any indemnity nor for any con- 
quest of other people's lands, nor for any re- 
ward, only to make the world a free and decent 
place to live in," But a feeling has taken deep 
root in the hearts of all the brave soldiers on 
the field of battle, for a tangible and ocular 
evidence as proof of Victory and that feeling is 
expressed in three words; "ON TO BERLIN!" 
And when the baffled Huns are put on the run, 
a mighty cheer will go up of "ON TO BERLINI" 
which may prove too strong for the Government 
leaders at home or the generals in the field to 
deny or withstand. Our own brave boys will 
certainly demand it as a boon; the English will 
acclaim it as a right; the French will insist upon 



it as a matter of justice; tlie Italians will insist 
upon it in memory of their beloved Caesar; 
tlie Belgians and the Portuguese will sustain the 
demand of their friend and protector Great 
Britain, and may God grant it to them, 

GUS L GOETHALS, 
Clayton, May 25th, 1918, 



3]lll•^(uar^ 



Since the fateful clays of August, 1914, 
when the German Emperor turned loose his 
horde of murdering Huns upon the soil of Bel- 
gium, I have written several articles pertaining 
to the present war, which were published in the 
Martinez Gazette, Pittsburg Post and the Con- 
cord Transcript, of Contra Costa County Cal- 
ifornia, And having been importuned to have 
those articles in booklet form, I agreed to the 
solicitations of my friends, So to those verses 
heretofore published I have added "The Witches 
of Bielefeld," and an appendix of notes. The 
Witches of Bielefeld was written to emphasize 
tlie historical fact that no invader has ever 
succeeded, If tlie old adage that "History re- 
peats itself" continues to rule, which in the 
case of Kaiser Wilhelm II, I firmly believe will 
so continue, then we, and our Allies, need have 
no fear of the ultimate results of the gigantic 
struggle, 

Since the day of the battle of the Marne, 
in the forepart of September, 1914, I have 
always maintained that the Germans were doom- 
ed. For those Germans who still cherish the 
hope of a Teutonic victory I have a certain de- 
gree of sympathy, but must say this, and say 



it in tlieir own language, "Gottes IViuelile geht 
langsani aljer die niahlt fein," and tliey should 
bear in mind that the Allies are firmly united, 
hopeful and sanguine of a victory which in 
the end will prove to be for a better and a re- 
generated Germany, Moreover, Time is not of 
the essence of their contract, as it was with the 
plans of the Kaiser's general staff, when on 
their march to Paris, Their time piece proved 
to finely and delicately made — a grain of sand 
stopped it — that grain of sand was BELGIUM, 

GUS L, GOETHALS 
Clayton, California 
September 1, 1917 




GUS L. GOETHALS 



^rgait Ptll jKsstgn 



Oh, say, William Jennings Bryan, 
Tlie Dogs of War are loose; 

Your Dove of Peace has flown the coop- 
Your office you may lose. 

You said you would not take that job 
If you thought we'd have a war, 

While drawing that twelve thousand per 
From Uncle SanVs pay car, 

So if you meant just what you said 

You'll never, never sign 
A document that smacl<s of war. 

For surely you'll resign. 

Let Woodrow get a better man, 
A man who'll clear the deck 

Of lectures from the ship of state, 
And take Chapultepec, 



®i]c piar ?l-;r0m X to 2. 



As Albert, at Antwerp awaited Albion's army 

Bold Bavarians battered BeigiunVs battlements, 

Ceaselessly cannonading, constantly concrete crumbled, 

Dover's denizens dismayed declared decampment, 

Effectively embarks elusively enters Europe, 

Fiercely fighting France's foresworn foe, firm footed, 

Gruesome, gory ground gairis grim German grenadiers, 

"Hock, hip hurrahl" his holy Highness hooted 

Inflexible Imperialist — insatiable invader, 

Justly Jehovah judges jesting jumping jacks. 

Kings, Kadis, Kerns — kirk kneeling knaves — keep killing 

kindred, 
Liege, Luxemburg, Louvain low living lacks, 
Martial men meet men, Mordkessel marks meandering 

Marne, 
Napoleon's Nemesis, now nerved no Nelson Needs, 
Onward Orleans, Odessa, Oporto, Ottawa, 
Protecting Paris, persuing Prussians precede, 
Quatrebras quickly quieted Quixotic quarrels, 
Russia, remembering, rushes regiments 'round, 
So, surely seeking Slavonic sway. 
Thru Tripoly Teutons tersely Turkey tempted, 
Unum universal Usufruct Uhlans undertakes, 
Verisimilous Varus victory ventured, 
World wonders why will warring Wilhelm worship 
Xerxes, Xebecs, Xerophim, Xystarch xeloidine, 
Ypres' Yarmouth's yieldless yeomanry. 
Zealously Zwarte Zeppelins Zig-zags, 

January 10th, 1915. 



cA Great Combination 







Cuts alt^ (CrnsshiL^s in the litstoru 
nf thr lllln•l^ 



Alexander the Great cuts the Gorcliaii knot 
and becomes the Conqueror of the world, 

Julius Caesar crosses the Rubicon and 
Rome becomes the mistress of the world, 

The Spanish Armada crosses the English 
Channell and England becomes the mistress of 
the Sea, 

Washinglon crosses the Delaware and the 
United States becomes the Free Land for all the 
world, 

Woodrow Wilson cuts and crosses the path 
of William the Hun and we become the guardian 
for the Ereedom of the Sea, 

Febrary 8th, 1917. 



31. ^. (icrntan'0 ^rtglit 



A mighty hunter, of small game. 
Unfurled the Prussian flag — 

With poison, guns and various traps 
Set out to fill his BAG, 

His High Command, the General Staff, 
Had given him their highest Tip, 

"We'll win ere England striKes a blow", 
And Billy said then let 'er R I P, 

All lawful rules they cast aside. 
As wallow hogs in bloody mire; 

They marched through the best preserves 
Wliicli then and there they set on F I R E, 

Then gayly started on their trip. 

Boasting of their victory, 
But the English, French and Irish 

Gave them no chance to see P A R I S, 

So, to heaven he bawled command, 

Gott strafe England she did most harm, 

She is still defending Belgium 

From our strong and bloody ARM, 

"Verdun?" too soon the answer came. 
It made the Allies sure they'll win 

And on the Somme they're going some. 
And the going is to B E R L I N, 



The German crown is marked, "For Sale", 
So there are three that have the TAG, 

Three crowned heads fear people's vengeance 
Three guilty of a fighting J A G, 

Now the Kaiser prays to heaven; 

"Please Got, don't let England strafe Me 
As she did old Bonaparte, 

Don't let her banish me to S E A," 

Oct. 2fi, 191G 




^iiuuti| nf JXprtl is ilianth of Wnv 
declarations in J^. ^. 



Says Uncle Sam to Kaiser William; 

"I'm tired of writing notes. 
Now going to spend a Billion 

To hunt and sink U Boats, 

"You've April fooled me twice to date 
And liave one more a coming, 

'Cause on a Sunday I surely hate 
To start and go a gunning, 

"Do your worst Mister Hohenzollern, 
Your last Fool's Day is near, 

Full well you know 'Du hast verlohren' 
IVlonday from me you'll iiear, 

" 'Twont help you much to hide hehind 
The H'ddenburglars' Line; 

By Heck its good to make your kind 
Tlieir Abdication s'gn, 

"You know my lucky IVloniii is April — 
Look up my list of Scraps; 
'Fore I get through with you, dear Bill, 
You'll pack your royal traps," 



The g'lag of Victor:^ 




M lail tl|c Molimtmn-s 



From 'Frisco Bay to Washington 

Is lieard tlie Warlike song: 
"We are witli you, Woodrow Wilson, 

A Hundred Million strong," 

From pole to pole the echo conies, 
Throughout the night and day; 

"We're 'gainst the Hohenzollerns, 
And we'll back the U, S, A," 

Above the Cannon's roar is heard 
The cry of vanquished Huns; 

"We yield to you Brave Kamarad, 
So take our useless Guns," 

The English Tommy — the French Poilu 
Press onward just the same; 

"No time," they shout, "to tend to you- 
We're after bigger game. 



^ust (!5ct Jiusy 



Behold the self-appointed peace maker, 
Who butts In, on the scrap across the pond, 

He's a faker. 

Of a Quaker, 
He'd free burglars without bond, 

He wants to stop, with lamentation. 
Straffing of "Deutschland ober alles". 
For spoliation 
Of small nation. 
Due the Germans from the Allies. 

He'd let the Prussian keep his hand and foot 
'Pon every inch of Belgian soil, 

And doesn't care a hoot 

'Bout stolen loot. 
But fears the jingle of a foil, 

He'd meekly let invaders fire his home, 
He was not raised to be a soldier boy. 

His spinal column 

A streak of chrome 
Of yellow color without alloy, 

No English Tommy, no French Poilu 
Now on the Somme or at Verdun, 

Invited you 

Or asked you to 
Make peace before their job is done. 



If you mean business you'll get busy. 
For you'll have to fight to stop that fight, 

Don't be a Sissy, 

Don't talk silly. 
Jump in the ring and prove you're right, 

Be first in war and first in peace and then 
You will be first in the hearts of all 

Your countrymen 

As Washington, 
Who bravely answered a fighting call. 

December Sth, 1916. 




^iHa^e in (brrmauy 



That "Hack our way through Belgium plan, 

— World's greatest infamy. 
Against all law of God and Man — 

Was "Made in Germany," 

The Zeppelin — with Boches wild — 
Dropping bombs most savagely. 
To kill a woman or a child. 
Was "Made in Germany," 

The Submarine, by Kaiser sent. 

To sink all ships at sea, — 
No warning gives — on murder bent, 

Were "Made in Germany," 

That devilish death dealing Gas, 

Used with most fiendish glee — 
Which for foul murder heads the class — 
Is "Made in Germany," 

Like wild beasts, Huns now madly spring 
Against all humanity, 
And boast that all death dealing things 
Are "Made in Germany," 

The Kaiser soon will leave Berlin, 
To get new deviltry, 
He'll sure find some, when he goes in 
Hell, "Made in Germany," 



(©n to ^erlin 

The Eastern Line is Wabbling to the West, 

By Russian bayonet charges, 
The Western Line in fear— is running East, 

From British and French Barrages, 

No more does Kaiser Wiliiani strut al30ut 
The East or Western battle line, 

He is too busy picking out a route 
To run ere Roosevelt sees the Rhine, 

For when those lines shall mingle into one 
Our Yankee boys will then fall in, 

In spite of all or any -German Von, 
They'll form the Bee Line to Berlin, 

With Old Glory they'll get there sure as fate. 
If those von Mutts keep up that fight; 

Then like rats— from the German ship of 
State- 
All the pirates will take flight. 

And bitterly the Kaiser will complain 

'Gainst him who wielded the "Big Stick," 
"It's your fault, Teddy, that I raised Cain, 

You said the whole world I could lick," 
"Sure Bill," Teddy will reply, "I said that. 

But did'iit want to cross your son, 
Nor hurt your feelings so I left this out 

"ABER NIT— The spot I live on," 

May 10, 1917 



OIl]e Raiser's ^amcnt 



I organized the Pluiicleibuncl, 

And Europe painted Red, 
Tliey now call us tlie Blunderbund — 

Blame Me for all tlie dead, 

ME! The Chief and the high Galoot 

Of the Germanic Mutts, 
That soon from me will get the Boot 

For all are going 'Nuts'. 

They told me England was a runt 
And would not play the cards, 

But Brittons were the first to hunt 
And kill my Prussian Guards — 

Said that in France my Clownish Son, 
Fair Paris would surely tal<e, 

But soon those polius made them run— 
Their plans turned out a fake, 

They l^et me Yankees would not dare 

Fight our murdering Band, 
But hell, they're at it now, for fair. 

To make us all disband. 

Now, I'll never wear upon my coat 
"Kaiser Wilhelm the Great," 

They'll write it plain; "The Billy Goat, 
For Wilson means that straight, 



Before the Peoples' Goai I'll be 
I'll take the drummers Route — 

I'll go to old Milwaukee 
And peddle sauerkraut " 

May 15, 




5feu mi m]ni J. (§. ^. 



Oh! Soldier Boy, of you we're proud, 

For you we'll daily pray, 
For a safe return to your fireside 

In tlie good old U, S, A, 

God help you to fight the U-l3oats 
For the "Freedom of the Sea," 

To make it safe for all that floats, 
With Neutrals F, 0, B, 

At Valley Forge, your father's chance 

To win looked rather blue; 
When Washington appealed to France, 

The French came P, D, 0' 

Now that the Frenchmen need our aid. 

Uncle Sam depends on YOU 
To go and prove you're not afraid 

To pay off that I, 0, U, 

And curb the Kaiser's warring way 

By making Europe free 
Of kings with military sway. 

So we can R, I, P, 

You'll meet some who love the Kaisers- 
Who'll try their best to switch 

You to line up with traitors — 
Tell such to G, T, H, 



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THE PANDERER: — "Come on; come on and be kissed bv him 



I am the relentless foe of Life, 

I strike true to the Mark, 
And must fulfill my measured strife 

Allotted by the Stork, 

They slander me that say I Grin 

Ton war's bloody battles; 
Have I, forsooth, more lives to win 

When empty scabbards rattle? 

'Tis then I heroes make of all 

Who dare to challenge Me, 
And heroes know that some must fall 

To set the living free 

They often die that live in fear, 

So bravely fear renounce. 
For your reward, — though I come near- 

You'll live — and die but once, 



(org ta ^, ^. J\nus 



"Vive les enfant de L'Anierique", 
That never met defeat — 

The Atlantic and Pacific 

They'll free before they quit, 

They salted England's breakfast tea. 
While dressed in Indian style, 

Then fought as bravely to be free 
As Greeks at Therniopyle, 

Rolled up Mexico's Tortillos, 
Then took Chapultepec, 

And lately drove Villistos 
From Texas to Tepic, 

They beat Spain in a Fandango 

Upon Manila Bay, 
And another at Santiago — 

Sent Spaniards home to stay, 

Soon on the Rhine they'll fish for trout. 
But when they get a smell 

Of old Lim burger and Sauerkraut, 
They'll give the Rebel Yell, 

Then lay the Prussians low and flat 
In spite of Cannon balls. 

And bat that Hohenzollern Brat 
'Till Papa Kaiser falls, 

July 10th, 1917. 



cTVp Laughing cMatter 




ZAUrex li\ fbUadtlpliit Press 

TllK KAISER; — "Don' 
the royalty business." 



laugh, ton, that's tlio man who is ruining 



JV pJaruhtq 



How long. Oh, Huns,. will you abuse 

The patience of your Host? 
When will you cease to interfere 

With patriots at their post? 

By ways as foul as submarines, 
With spying periscope. 

You try to sink our Ship of State- 
Strike all within ycur scope, 

You left your country joyfully. 

Were welcomed to our Land, 
The Land you swore you would uphold. 

Took oath you would defend, 

That Mark on Cain was but a scratch 

To yours of infamy. 
For all your crimes you have prefaced 

By that of perjury. 

Because our sons are now in France 
Our thoughts run 'cross the sea 

So please don't monkey with our switch 
Or you'll hang to a tree, 

November 17, 1917 



iVutocracu jtlcrsits Sntiocni 



We'll make the Desolater desolate; 

Of Victory he'll soon cease to prate, 
That Arbiter of small Nation's fate, 

Now for his own does supplicate, 

Hear not his cry for peace, for 'tis the l<nell 

Of Liberty and false as hell. 
But heed the wail from Lusitania's shell, 

Of murdered ones his Huns did fell. 

'Tis time to choose between Autocracy, 

Under that Brute of Germany, 
And our President with Democracy 

Forever free from Tryanny, 

The world has chosen Him, Woodrow Wilson, 
Who can and will make peace. Oh, Hun, 

And ere ye shall pass the buck to your son 
You'll meet his Yankee Sons o' Gun, 



®I]e f cictfist 



Ere they used the poisonous shell 
It had been said that "War is hell," 

Yet William was more than willing 
For the foulest ways of killing, 

He, for a peaceful Land did crave; 

Land of the bravest of the brave. 
There hurled mad Huns through Belgium's gate 

And won the World's undying hate, 

Now shunned by all whom he defied, 

Conscience stricken and terrified, 
He tries to stem his homing Huns 

Who flee from our avenging guns. 

He proffers us the olive branch 

While planning to defraud the French, 

But Where's the fool would trust a Hun 
While he retains a trench or gun? 

He's here, he's there, most everywhere, 

Pro-German Pacifist for fair, 
That sulks when Kaiser meets defeat 

And smiles when Berlin says we're beat. 

One lives next door to you, if not. 
Across your street you'll find a lot. 

So sail right in and soak the Mutt 
That smiles, for Kaiser, as he struts, 

November 20, 1917 



Sj'u^litiiu^ ^oistcht ^itll 



Good old Ben Jones raised grain and wool. 
Across tile road lived Wiliani Brown, 

Who l<ept a fighting Holstein Bull, 
A terror to tear fences down, 

One day Bill Brown unbarred his Bull 
And stable doors he opened wide, 

Then cracl<ed his whip, just like a fool. 
Upon the beast's tough, bloon'.ing hide. 

Out shot the Bull, and took the gate 

Of the corral upon its horns, 
Jones saw him come and pulled his freight. 

Made tracks for home to get liis sons, 

When he reached home, said he to all 
His Boys, that had gathered around, 

"Bill's Holstein Bull has left his stall, 
Go, kill him ere he tramps our ground," 

Said John, the oldest, "Dad, 'taint right" 
To send us boys to other lands. 

If he comes here wliy then we'll fight," 
John won and Jones threw up his hands. 

So the Bull he had the freedom 
Of all the road and wild did run. 

Along Jones' fence he made things hum, 
While Bill looked on and thought it fun, 



That Bull he smashed, in just a week, 
A dozen rigs, killed many sheep 

And lambs galore, What made Jones sick 
Was, none would put that brute to sleeo, 

Now, when no living thing would come. 
Or could be seen along that road, 

John saw the Bull a-going some. 
Tearing the fence down, board l3y board, 

John aimed and fired, but his shot went wild, 
He cussed, he turned and ran away. 

Both he and Bull raced 'cross the field, 
Straight for the kitchen door, and say, 

The whole darn family saw that race. 
But none came out to shoo that Bull, 

Said Jones, "John's coming to our place" 
"To fight according to his rule," 

"Here, you women folks, take the kids," 
Hike for the barn, the boys and I, 

Will do some glorius warlike deeds, 
By gosh, today that BuH'll die," 

They let John in and shut the door, 
Then Jones he took the matter cool. 

Firm-footed en the kitchen floor, 
Awaited William's Holstein Bull, 

Soon came an awful jar and crash. 
The Bull broke through the k tche'^ wall. 
Knocked four men down, then made a dash 
Through every room and every hal'. 



Though each man had a hickory stick, 
No two fought ill the self-same room, 

So that Holstein had a picnic 
As household goods flew up the flume, 

Jones called for a consultation, 

"Boys," said he, as he clenched his fist; 
"Fall in line in massed formation. 

We'll fight as one and get that beast," 

When he met four men, good and strong, 
He turned and in the pantry rushed, 

The floor gave way and he headlong 
Down in the concrete cellar crashed. 

Just then Pete Olson, Bill's hired man. 
Came up to have a "Parley Vous," 

He held in hand a spick and span 
New cotton rope and halter too, 

"Gude marning Meester Yones," he said, 
"I ban sent heer by Meester Brown, 

Dos fence he faix, I tank he paid, 
Nu fer his Bool I bane coom down," 

"I," Jones replied, "Made up my mind," 
To get along without a fence," 

I'll tear down Bill's offensive kind. 
Then won't need none for my defense," 

"But first I'll kill and cook the Bull, 
"Pete you tell Bill what I tell you; 

If he follows the Golden Rule, 
He can come to the barbecue," 



We knew Ben Jones meant all he said. 
For he yanked up a hitching post 

Then whacked that Bull across the head, 
And WilliaiiVs pet gave up the ghost, 

"Burn up the house," yelled Jones, "I'm boss, 

I'll leave no salvage for Rebate, 
'Til make Bill pay a total loss, 

His Bull Clause I'll not tolerate," 

When Pete got back he told Bill all. 
Bill took the rope from Peter's hand, 

Clumb up a tree, good strong and tall. 
Jumped off but never hit the ground, 

Bill did a first class job, you bet, 
Pete said "Dar rope ban strong tank you, 

"It hurts me gude, alretty yet" 
"I go tu Yonyes barbecoo," 



^OttteI]o6j — ^ontefuI]ere 



Somewhere in France they're putting up 

A three ring circus tent, 
The Ticket Agents are around 

And seats are now for rent, 

Somewhere in dear old U, S, A, 
'Twas planned to give that Show, 

Elsewhere Pro-German Mutts all said 
"U-Boats won't let you Go," 

Somewhere get tickets for that Show, 
Buy from the Red Cross Man, 

And buy one stamped Y, M, C, A, 
Take two, take all you can, 

Soinewhere — most anywhere, I'm sure. 

You'll meet a K, of 0, 
Pay him for one; he'll send it to 

Some orphan 'cross the sea. 

Somewhere along the fighting front. 

Within that Yankee Show, 
They'll treat you to a royal time 

You'll see Huns on the go. 

Somewhere on center pole you'll see 

The EAGLE we've let go. 
Inside the tent the ringmaster, 

Jack Pershing, runs our show. 



Somewhere in No Man's Land, our boys, 

Whirl 'round the wireiess loop, 
For clown they have a silly Prince, 

A pure bred Nincompoop, 

Somewhere, nowhere elsewhere they say 

All animals are loose, 
The Lion, Wolf and Kangaroo 

Play with the young Cayuse, 
Somewhere the Bear now hibernates. 

When freed he left the ring, 
We'll let him slumber all he wants, 
For he'll come back next spring, 

Somewhere, we can't tell where just now. 

Sometime before next fall. 
They'll surely catch and cage, to show 

One animal — that's all. 
Somewhere along the Rhine he prowls, 

That beast we call "the Hun," 
The Lion, Eagles and the Wolf 

Now have him on the run, 
Somewhere they'll use another cage. 

Inside the tented show, 
For that double headed Eagle 

That failed to reach the Po, 
Somewhere in France some sight you'll see 

When starts the Grand Parade, 

Sametime Our Eagle leave his perch 

For Berlin unafraid, 

February 4, 1918 



"Slip parser ^vom J\. tn Z. 



Atrocious, Arrant Assassin, 
Belgium's Bloody, Brutal Butcher, 
Clierusi's Craven, Cruel Chief, 
Denizen's Devilish Del^aucher, 
Envenomed Europe's Enlightenment, 
Fiendish, Freebooting Firebrand, 
Germany's Gory, Ghoulish Gnome, 
Hated Hellish Hohenzollern Hound, 
Infamous Imp, Imperator, 
Janus-Jowled, Jabbering Jacchus, 
Kirk-Kneeling, Kindred Killing Knave, 
Low-Llved, Loathsome, Lurching, Louse. 
Mulish, Murdering Mountebank, 
Narrowminded, Nameless Noodle, 
Outrageous Official Outlaw, 
Prussia's Paralytic Poodle, 
Queer, Quarrelson^e Qi-iadruflusher, 
Ruthless, Ruffianized Robber Rex, 
Soured, Sacriligious Sycophant, 
Teaching Turks Terrible Teuton Tricks, 
Unlawfully Unleashed U-Boats, 
Vicious Vampire, Verdun's Victim, 
Wildly, Wilfully Waged War With 
Xerxes, Xystarch, Xebecs, Xeloidin, 
Ye Yahooed Ye Young Yoemanry, 
Zany-Zollern Zernined Zeppelins, 

March 17, 191S 



cA Forceful Speaker 




A JFrlit ^'rraps of ^J: 



tprr 



Bold Barons met King John at Runnymecle, 
There forced the Charter in his liand 

He signed indeed 

— For England's need — 
"A Scrap of Paper" to rule the land, 
Martin Luther, with Holy Writ in hand, 
Indulgences boldly hurled 

From his native land 

And did defend 
"A Scrap of Paper'' 'gainst the world, 

A band of patriots met in Fanueil Hall, 
There did declare for Liberty, 

At their Country's call 

They signed, for all, 
"A Scrap of Paper,'' to be Free, 

And for the best — the Union to sustain — 
Abraham Lincoln gave the decree, 

"In this Doniain 

No slaves retain" — 
"A Scrap of Paper" set them free, 

"Free tolls for our ships" so Congress declared 
Ungrudgingly they did retract 

When Wilson said. 

As his Message read, 
" 'A Scrap of Paper' you must respect," 



tEI|e Pfriting mi tlic pla 



The German Staff had planned it fine 
To cross the Belgium neutral line, 

On August Fourth 

They sallied forth 
While singing the "Waclit am Rhine," 

And they crossed with flying colors. 
For von Emmech had his orders, 

"Without delay 

'To hack his way' 
Through Belgium and on to Paris," 

Where the Kaiser — such was his hoast— 
Said he'd eat his quail on toast, 

And named the day 

He'd have his way, 
In six weeks he'd meet Mine Host, 

But came one fair September morn. 
Close to the winding river IVIarne, 

There old von Kluck 

Was tluinder struck — 
Of victory he was shorn. 

Then at Verdun, the butchers bill 
— Already high — rose higher still; 

There the Crown Prince 

Made Germans wince, 
Foi' Frenchmen had learned the way to ki 



Yet he made some gains — here a trench. 
And there some cannon from the French- 

But he observes 

That his reserves 
Are all used up, both root and branch, 

Now they fight — not to free the sea — 
Nor yet for weal of Germany — 

To save the crown 

For a young clown, 
Which would be lost — with soldiers free. 

The day of reckoning now draws near. 
The "Writing on the Wall" is clear — 

It is "REPUBLIC" 

Not "Dynastic" 
That is the Kaiser's mortal fear, 




Pitl| (icnuauy, Jf~ 



Old Kaiser Wilhelni, he bellowed and roared, 
I'll carve a place in the Sun with my Sword, 

I, the Annointed — 

By God appointed, 
The scourge of man, as Etzel of old, 

His roar awoke the sleeping Russian bear, 
And roused the Brittish Lion from its lair; 

The Eagle of France 

Flew to its lance. 
While brave Belgians called his bluff of hot ai 

They're willing now to give him all of the sun. 
But off of the earth he must go with his son. 

And we'll get along 

With Germans as long 
As they're free from the sway of a Hun, 

April 2 4tli, 1916 






HINDENBURG .- "HIS NAME, SIRE, WAS B YNG" 




triple ^Ilmnce 



WHEREAS, Democracy, defender of Peace, 
Justice and Humanity, is tlireatening tlie fall of 
tlie Hohenzollern Dynasty, and tlie deatli rate 
is so low that Charon will be compelled to cease 
ferrying the Dead across the Styx; and 

WHEREAS, His Satanic IVIajesty, Asmodeus, 
King of the Devils, complains that there are too 
many sacred buildings dedicated to the saving of 
souls, his kingdom does not now receive its due 
proportion of lost souls; 

NOW THEREEORE, in order to remedy the 
foregoing evils, His Imperial Majesty, Kaiser 
Wilhelm II, His Satanic Majesty, Asmodeus, and 
Grim Death have appointed Plenipotentiaries; 
Kaiser Wilhelm II, Gen, Von Moltke, His Satanic 
Majesty, Asmodeus, Lieutenant Mephistopheles, 
and Grim Death, Lord High Executioner, Major 
General Mower, who having communicated to 
each other their full powers have agreed upon 
the following Articles; 

Article I, His Imperial Majesty Kaiser 
Wilhelm II is commanded to have his agent at 
Rome, unlock and open the Gates of the Temple 
of Janus, And in order to delay the day of 
Peace, said agent shall cast the keys into the 
Tiber, 

Article II, The slaughter of Democratic 



People shall begin within Sixty Days from the 
date of the Exchanges of Ratifications of this 
Treaty, 

Article III, In order that there shall be 
more lost Souls, Shooting, Poisoning and Drown- 
ing, shall, whenever possible, be done without 
warning. And no distinction shall be observed 
between Belligerents and Neutrals, nor as be- 
tween Men, Women and Children, 

Article IV, And His Imperial Majesty Kai- 
ser Wilhelm II agrees with the High Contracting 
Parties, that he shall spare no Church nor Ca- 
thedrals, in any Town or City bombarded by his 
Artillery, 

In faith whereof the Plenipotentiaries have 
signed this Treaty and thereunto affixed their 
Seals, Done at Berlin, the 8th day of May, 1914, 
Signed, GEN, VON MOLTKE, 
Signed, LIEUTENANT MEPHISTOPHELES, 
Signed, MAJOR GENERAL MOWER, 
Ratifications Exchanged at the Third Station of 

Hell, June 5th, Anno Diabolo 1, 
Ratified by Death May 25, 1914, 
Ratification Advised by the Military Vons, May 

27th, 1914, 
Ratified by Wilhelm II May 31st, 1914, 
Ratification advised by the Devils May 27th, 

1914, 
Ratified by Asmodeus, Rex Diaboles June 1st, 

1914, 
Date of writing, Feb, 20, 1915, 



CQ 

O 






"^S 


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-,7^5- 



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Sfe 



*p: 



m]t Pttdjcs oi J&xAMh 



PLACE; Teutoberg Wald, near Detmold, Ger- 
many, near a cave with a large oaken door 
Raining, tluinder and lightning, 

^rautatis |lersonae 



WILHELM II— Emperor of Germany, 

von Falkenstaff— Chief of Staff 

von Cow \ 

von Bellows (Generals of the Emperor's 

von der Goat ( High Command 

von HinderlDUgs / 

Three Messengers 

First Witch 

Second Witch 

Recorder for the Witches 

Nymph 



i\pparatinns 



hiannilDal, Julius Caesar, Arminius, Philip II of 
Spain, Charles XII of Sweden, Napoleon Bona- 
parte, George Washington and Pope Pius X, 



WILHELM — Go, von Bellows, knock on yon 
door and demand admittance, (The Emperor 
and his staff dismount and tie their horses to a 
small tree.) 

VON BELLOWS (knocking)— By command 
of his Majesty, I demand admittance, 

1st, WITCH — We heed no commands nor 
demands from tliose who seek our favors or 
advice, 

WILHELM — I come for neither but wish to 
see and hear the Spirits of the Dead, 'Tis re- 
ported that you have the power to conjure them 
so mortal eyes and ears can see and hear them, 

1st, WITCH--'Tis not permitted to grant 
your request before the midnight hour so await 
the time without, 

WILHELM— Must we stand here three long 
hours in this rain? 

1st, WITCH— Aye, aye and short the time. 
Remember Henry IV awaited the pleasure of a 
Pope for three days before the Gates of Canossa 

VON BELLOWS— Sire, I like not that 
Witch's reference to your illustrous predecessor, 
let us away to Detmold, 

VON FALKENSTAFF— Your Majesty, allow 
us to force the door? 

VON DER GOAT (whispering to Hinders- 
bugs) — And teach that Hag some manners, 

WILHELM— Silence, heir steh Ich; Ich 
kann nicht anders, for I must see and hear the 
Spirits from the Dead, 



1st, WITCH— Sire, whilst you await the 
time disarm, take o1^ all insignia of militarism for 
such will not be permitted within the cave, 

VON HINDERBUGS-Gott in Himmel, must 
we go in naked? 

VON COW— I fear a trap, what says your 
Majesty? 

WILHELM — Disarm and place helmets, 
coats, swords and spurs at the foot of the royal 
oak tree, (Points to a large oak tree near the 
door of the cave. All now disarm and pile their 
accoutrements as ordered iDy the Emperor, The 
storm seems to abate, The Emperor and his 
attendants impatiently wait for the midnight 
hour, when, without warning, a thunder bolt 
strikes the royal oak accompanied by a terrific 
peel of thunder, which reverberates from hill 
to hill then came a deadly silence. It had ceased 
to rain and through a rift in the parting c'ouds a 
moonbeam shines directly upon the shattered 
oak, All that is left of their accoutrements is 
a smoldering heap. Their coats, helmets, 
n^edals, swords and spurs have melted away,) 

VON COW— Jesus! Look Sire, an ill omei, 
(He points to and wildly gazes upon the burning 
coats,) 

VON BELLOWS— God has straffed our 
swords and Iron Crosses, Let us away Sire 
and be damned to the Witches of Bielefeld, I 
say. 



WILHELM— I have a mind to— but wait, 
here comes Von der Goat,- Let's hear what 
he has to say, 

VON DER GOAT— Your Majesty, I regret to 
inform you that our horses, frightened by the 
terrible thunderbolt, have broken loose and are 
not to be seen, 

WILHELM— Why, then, must we stay this 
thing out. Von Cow go back to Detmold and 
bring back to us six fresh chargers or three 
autos, 

VON COW (saluting)— Yes, sire, (Exit 
von Cow,) 

(The storm has passed away and the full 
moon, now near the meridian, informs the party 
tliat the midnight hour is near, Tlie cave door 
is now opened,) 

1st, WITCH — I am commanded by my mis- 
tress to bid you enter, Follow me, (All enter 
the interior of the cave in semi-darkness. The 
Witch takes her visitors before five seats, hewn 
out of stone and placed in a half circle,) 

2nd, WITCH— (Who is unseen) Welcome 
to your Majesty and to your attendents, Bs seat- 
ed and be silent, (All sit down in the stone seats, 
the Emperor in the center), 

1st, WITCH — Sire, whom do you wish to 
see? 

WILHELM — As many as 'twill please you 
to call forth. Here is the list, (hands paper to 
Witch), 



1st, WITCH— (Reading from list) "Han- 
nibal, Julius Caesar, Arniinius, Philip II of Spain, 
Charles XII of Sweden, Frederick the Great, 
Napoleon Bonaparte and George Washington," 
Truly, a goodly list of Immortals, Here, you in- 
visible Nymph, take this list to our Mistress, 
(The paper wafts away to the astonishment of 
the Emperor and the members of his staff), 

2nd, WITCH— I have sent the list to our 
hoary ferryman, Charon, with instructions for 
him to ferry over the River Styx the Spirits 
your Majesty has called for. While we await 
their coming our Recorder will take down the 
names cf our visitors as I call them out; Wil- 
helm II, von Hindenburg, von Falkenstaff, von 
der Goat and von Bellows, The Spirits that are 
sent for are; Hannibal, Julius Caesar Arniinius, 
Phillip II of Spain, Charles XII of Sweden, Fred- 
erick the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte and George 
Washington, 

NYMPH— Oh! Mistress, the hoary Ferry- 
man calls attention to the payment of the fare, 

2nd, WITCH— Pardon me Sire, but I must 
call your attention to the rule that Charon must 
be paid for his services for ferrying the Spirits 
of the dead, 

WILHELM— What are his charges? 

2nd, WITCH— Three Obelus per passenger. 
Sire, forty-eight pennies, all told, including re- 
turn trip. 



WILHELM— Here are two marks, (Hands 
1st, Witch coins,) 

1st, WITCH— Here, tliou invisible Nymph, 
take these to your Mistress, 

VON BELLOWS— Sire this smacks of graft- 
ing on the dead, 

WILHELM — I do not think so, geschaeft 
ist geschaeft, 

2nd, WITCH— Sire, Charon has refused to 
accept your coins, 

WILHELM— Why? 

2nd, WITCH — Because your Majesty's 
superscription is stamped thereon, However, 
he will take them at half their face value, so 
you will have to pay double the amount, two 
Marks more Sire, 

WILHELM— Here, (Hands 1st Witch two 
Marks and whispers to Von Bellows,) Now I 
believe it is a graft, 

VON BELLOWS— I sincerely hope that your 
Majesty will receive the full value of those four 
Marks, but I doubt it, 

VON DER GOAT— If I had my way I'd buy 
four sticks of dynamite with those four Marks 
and use them to blow up this infernal cave, 
then we would get value received, 

VON HINDERBUGS— I for one don't be- 
grudge those four Marks that your Majesty gave 
to Charon, 

WILHELM— Wherefore, Von Hinderbugs? 



VON HINDERBUGS— Because for three 
years past we have succeeded in keeping Charon 
pretty l3usy, and now your Majesty is nial<ing 
liini work overtime, therefore iie is entitled to 
douljle pay, 

Nymph — Oh, Mistress, the Spirits have ar- 
rived and are in the waiting chamber, at your 
orders, 

2nd, WITCH— 'Tis well. Call each in the 
order as written on our register. Proceed, 

1st, WITCH— Oh, Spirit of the Immortal 
son of Hamilcar, come forth! (Instantly a 
circular light appears at the further end of the 
cave not unlike, in size and brightness, the 
rising full moon. Then appears Hannibaf hold- 
ing in his outstretched hands the decapitated 
head of his brother Hadrusbal,), 

HANNIBAL— Oh, Wilhelm, Emperor of the 
Germanic race that thou hast betrayed, beware 
of Italy, 'gainst whom I strove for sixteen years! 
Behold the result of the Metaurus — then came 
Zama, This gastly trophy my Just reward for 
my invasion. Profit by my example and 'bove 
all beware Democracy, (Spirit of Hannibal de- 
parts, the Emperor is deeply agitated), 

VON HINDERBUGS— I pray your Majesty 
will pay no heed to the vaporings of that African, 

WILHELM— I like not his allusions to the 
battles of the Metaurus and Zama, 

VON HINDERBUGS— Wliy, Sire? 



WILHELM— Because the Metaurus was 
decisive 'gainst tliat African and so tlie Marne 
lias proven so to me, Now as Zama proved tlie 
end of Hannibal's career so Zeebruge may be 
the end of all my dreams to rule the world, I 
fear the letters 'M' and 'Z' for, as you know, 
Zeebruge is our last stand, 

1st, WITCH — I will now, l)y his deserved 
name, call for Arminius, "Liberator baud dubie 
Germanie," come unto our presence, (the spirit 
of Arminius wall<s into the center of the circle, 
bow and arrow in his hands fixed for flight, 
which he threateningly aims at the Emperor,) 

ARMINIUS— With such weapons I van- 
quished the Roman Legions under Varus and 
made the Great Augustus cry out in dispair; 
"Oh, Varus, give me bacl< my Legions!" But 
you have caused the German people to cry 
out in anguish; "Oh, Wilhelm, give us bacl< our 
slaughtered Sons," Resign, let others save t'ne 
Fatherland that I have freed, Adieu, (Arminius 
retires), 

WILHELM— Oh, Spirit of the Great Her- 
man — 

1st, WITCH— Sire, the Spirits of the Dead 
brook no questioning, I wi!l now conjure Philip 
II of Spain; Thou son and successor of t'^e 
great Emperor Charles V please appear, (Philip 
c-omes holding a Crucifix in his right hand a:id 
a broken anchor in his left hand,) 



Hannibal 




PHILIP ll~Guilleniio, beware of England, 
the defender of Belgium, whose spirit of Democ- 
racy I sought to crush, through and by the ruth- 
less and bloody brutality of Alva, and thereby 
disgraced my glorious reign, Then I attempted 
to wrest from Albion the supremacy of the sea 
and this (holds up the anchor) was my reward 
for my contemplated invasion, Beware 'bove all 
of my illustrious Sire's Native Land, Follow his 
example, bastante, (Philip walks away holding 
the Crucifix before his face), 

WILHELM — That anchor is surely a relic of 
the Invincible Armada, 

VON BELLOWS^Ture, Sire, but what sig- 
nificance is there to his saying, "Beware the 
native land of my lllustrous Sire"? Spain is 
not at war 'gainst us, or, is she, Sire? 

WILHELM— No, He refers to Belgium, for 
at Ghent did Emperor Charles V first see the 
light of day, 

VON FALKENSTAFF— Then, Sire, if you 
should follow his example that would mean 
for you to — 

VON DER GOAT— We'll say it, 'Abdicate,' 

VON HINDERBUGS— We cannot stand for 
that, for then what would become of us. To hel! 
with that Spaniard's advice, I say! 

1st, WITCH— We will now call upon Julius 
Caesar, Oh, he whom the Immortal Bard well 
nan-ed "T'^e foremost man of all the world," 
please us v/ith thy presence, (The clatter of 



horses' hoofs and the rumbling noise of Chariot 
wheels is heard, Two horses' heads appear in- 
side the circle and stop, Caesar is now seen to 
conie in front in the center of the circle, holding 
a scroll in his right hand and a cloak on his left 
arm, on the scroll are seen these words: "To 
the Ronian Senate, Veni, Vidi, Vici, Caius 
Julius Caesar") 

JULIUS CAESAR— I warn you, Wilhelm II, 
you who now misrule the Germanic race, 
to beware of the Belgians, the bravest of the 
brave of all the Gauls, Cast off your crown; 
a bauble whicli I thrice refused upon the Luper- 
cal, Invaders receive their just reward. This I 
received as mine upon the Ides of March, 
(Caesar puts on the cloak which is pierced by 
dagger holes, with as many bloody spots. The 
horses advance and as the Chariot passes 
Caesar jumps in and drives away,) 

VON DER GOAT— That's poor consolation 
the Dago gave you Sire, 

WILHELM — Truly, I expected he would 
say more than he did, 

VON BELLOWS— They say he dared to 
cross the Rubicon, I believe now that he is a 
daiedevil, the way he rubbed it in on your Maj- 
esty, and I do not see. Sire, how you expected 
him tr 3ay more, 

WILHELM— Well, he in life admitted that 
he could not subdue our enemy, England, so I 
did expect him to refer to it. 



1st, WITCH— We will now call upon Charles 
XII, Oh, you mad-cap King of Sweden, let us 
see and hear thee, (Immediately Charles ap- 
pears brandishing a sword, with which he parries 
at the Emperor as he speaks,) 

CHARLES XII— Wilhelm, 'tis not lo:ig since 
you boasted that once more Russia is trembling 
under the blows of your army, I also made her 
tremble for three years, but came Pultowa, 
Then for three years, I trembled for my li'e 
amongst the treacherous Turks, Now, Wilhelm, 
in truth, I'm sick and tired to hear you say 
"Gott strafe England", do a little strafing your- 
self, and do it NOW, or you will lose your crown. 
Look a little out for that Uncle Sam, for sure 
he'll get your Goat, (Charles XII abruptly leaves 
the circle,) 

VON DER GOAT— I wonder if that square 
head refers to me? 

WILHELM — I believe so, and hope so, for I 
can well spare you, 

VON HINDERBUGS— Pay no a^Tention io 
the souwegian. Sire, for the Turks are still 
with us, 

VON BELLOWS— What I would like to 
know, Sire, is the United States at war agx.inst 
us? 

WILHELM— I don't believe so. We will 
ask Micheales when we get back to Berlii, but 
even if — 

1st, WITCH— Your Majesty, time is shot 
and we will now call upon Frederick the Great, 



so come forward, you who withstood the on- 
slaught of Russia, France and Austria and by 
your victories laid the foundation for a Ger- 
nian Empire, (A few minutes pass in silence), 

2nd, WITCH— Frederick the Great ab- 
solutely refuses to see or speak to the present 
Emperor, whose ruthless and brutal acts have 
stained and defamed the once fair name of 
Germany, 

WILHELM — Entreat him, I beseech you, 

1st, WITCH— No, Sire, it would be useless, 
so we will pass on and call for Napoleon Bon- 
aparte, So, come you, spirit of the bold Corsi- 
can, (Bonaparte comes into the circle dressed 
as a Field Marshall of France, He holds a book 
in his hand On the cover is the title; "Code 
Napoleon," 

NAPOLEON BONAPARTE— I salute you as 
Wilhelm, the Hun — the title posterity will be- 
stow upon you. Your abdication is now devoutly 
wished for by the whole world. Beware of Eng- 
land, She is the Nemesis of all or any who 
trample upon Belgium, 'Gainst Albion I fought 
for sixteen years and when I crossed the Bel- 
gian line I met my Waterloo, my second abdica- 
tion and St. Helena, Above all, beware of the 
U, S,, Fare well, Oh Hun! (He bows and leaves), 

VON BELLOWS— Your Majesty, that is the 
second time the Spirits mention the Americans, 
Now, tell me. Sire, are they at war 'gainst us? 



WILHELM— My dear bellowing Bellows, 
pay no attention to that Corsican upstart and 
self crowned emperor of the French, 

Falkenstaff Napoleon— Belgium N. B, Nota 
Bene, Sire, 

1st, WITCH— We will now invite into our 
presence he who was "First in Peace, First in 
War and First in the hearts of his country men!" 
Oh, thou illustrious and immortal defender of 
Democracy we beg the honor of your presence, 
(Instantly seven bright red bands seem to un- 
roll from the upper edge of the circle and the 
five spaces between the bands of red become 
white with stars of golden hue, Washington ap- 
pears in plain civilian dress holding a parchment 
in his hands which he partly unrolls and holds 
to the view of the Emperor, who sees the follow- 
ing words "Declaration of Independence — Unit- 
ed States of America — We hold these truths to 
be self evident, that all men are created equal — 
Life, Liberty and pursuit of Happiness — ," 

GEORGE WASHINGTON— From time im- 
memorial ambitious men acquired the power 
to rule by the sword or by the mitre, Like a 
pendulum that power swung from Emperors or 
Kings to Popes or Bishops, then back from the 
mitre to the sword. The pendulum still swings, 
but its oscillations now, happily for mankind, 
are controled by democracy. You, Wilhelm, 
seek to rule by the sword and cannon, and sac- 
religiously proclaim that you are God's vice 



gereiit on the earth, that you seek to conquer. 
My beloved country, being, as of right it should 
be, the invincible defender of Democracy, has 
declared your brutal and rutheless acts against 
her commerce and against the lives of her 
citizens as acts of war, You willed it and 
you shall rue it, Farewell, (As Washington 
slowly walks away a white dove with an olive 
branch in its beak follows him, flying in a circle, 
The stars go out one by one and the red bands 
roll up. The white light grows dimmer and 
darkness again replaces the outer space of the 
circle,) 

VON DER GOAT— Now, Your Majesty must 
admit that the Americans are at war against 
us! 

WILHELM— Yes, but I do not fear that 
rebel's country, Our submarines will attend to 
those that dare to cross the Atlantic, What 
say you, Hinderbugs? 

VON HINDERBUGS— I am of the same 
opinion, Sire, moreover, I can give you my as- 
surance that 1 will hold on to the Western line, 
even if I do have to take it back with me to 
the Rhine, 

VON DER GOAT— rm not afraid 'bout our 
Western line but I don't like the letter G, 

VON FALKENSTAFF— Why, are you super- 
stitious? 

VON DER GOAT— No, not so foolish as to 
be superstitious, Falkenstaff, but I figured it 



Invincible and Unafraid 




out so; We cannot defeat that G, of England, 
and yet that rebel G,, he to a finish strafed a 
G, of this same England, Ergo! How can we 
beat the G, that easily whipped a G, we can't 
defeat? 

WILHELM— Silence, you fool, or there will 
be a G, in G, who'll face a Firing Squad, 

VON DER GOAT— Whom mean you Sire? 

WILHELM— Der Goat of Germany, dunce 
head, 

1st, WITCH — Your Majesty, our conjurga- 
tions are over and — 

2nd, WITCH — One moment, and listen, 
Sire, when Charon had crossed the Styx he 
found upon his arrival here one spirit more than 
your Majesty had sent for. We still have time. 
Will you see and hear this spirit whom Charon 
in his message to me calls a stowaway? 

WILHELM— Who is he, and what was his 
name and rank? 

2nd, WITCH— His name, Guiseppe Sarto, 
his rank a Pope, lately deceased, Pius X, 

WILHELM— May I consult with my Staff 
upon the matter? 

1st, WITCH— You may, Sire, but be brief, 

WILHELM— What say you. Von Dsr Goat^ 
shall we see this Pius X? 

VON DER GOAT— Your Majesty, off hand, 
I say Nol For his successor, Benedict, is at pres- 
ent trying out for a peace conference and our 
enemies say that by subterfuge we decieved 



Benedict and prevailed upon iiim to make tliis 
attempt for tlie sole interest of Germany and 
Austria, Moreover, they go so far as to say 
that he butts in, as Pius X now does, to come 
here, which I firmly believe, 

VON BELLOWS— Remember Sire, that this 
same Pope at the very begining of this, our 
glorious and victorious war, and just before his 
demise addressed our arch enemy, England as 
the "Master of Justice and Guardian of the 
Peace," therefore I am of the same opinion as 
Von Der Goat, 

VON HINDERBUGS— I trust your Majesty 
will not be offended, for I will speak plainly. We 
are at present in the position of a drowning 
man and we must grasp even at a straw for 
aid, so I favor seeing and above all to hear 
Pius, for if in life he favored our enemies in 
his talk to us he may inadvertently give us some 
information of military value, 

VON FALKENSTAFF— Sire I fully and un- 
reservedly coincide with Von Hinderbugs, 

WILHELM— Well said, We will hear this 
Pope and we will pay particular attention to 
all that he will say, Now you — 

1st, WITCH— Pardon, Sire, but time is 
pressing and Charon is becoming impatient. 
What is your pleasure? 

WILHELM— We have decided to hear Pope 
Pius X, 



1st, WITCH— Tis well, for we must not 
tarry, You who in life was Patriarch of Venice, 
by name, Guiseppe Sarto, Ijless us with thy 
presence, (A halo of light appears above the 
circle and within the halo is a large cross, 
Pius comes into the center of the circle and 
stops immediately under the halo and cross,) 

PIUS— My successor, Benedict XV is at 
present attempting to have the warring nations 
agree to a peace conference, but it is premature, 
because it is the rule of our Holy Catholic Church 
that no absolution shall be granted to an un- 
repenting sinner, nor until he has made full re- 
stitution to those he has wronged or defrauded, 
.Wilhelm, you boast that you are victorious; you 
are still defying and outraging all laws of God 
and man, all of which proves your unrepenting 
mind, Repentance and restitution go hand in 
hand, as does absolution and peace. Proclaim 
the former and Peace will follow as day the 
night, and "Dominus Vobiscum," (Pius leaves 
followed by a lamb carrying a cross), 

VON DER GOAT— I heard nothing said 
that was of military value Sire, All Popes are 
the same to me even after they are dead they 
will butt in, 

VON HINDERBUGS— With your permission. 
Sire, I shall order the destruction of all Catholic 
churches while retiring from Belgium and north- 
ern France, 



WILHELM — Do as you wish, my clear 
Hinderbugs, but do not let that appear in any 
of your official orders of the day, 

VON BELLOWS— Sire, do you contemplate 
the evacuation of Belgium and thus follow the 
advice of Pope Pius X ? 

WILHELM— I tell thee, Von Bellows, no 
Pope, be he dead or alive, will ever make me 
go to Canossa, but we must be prepared for 
any eventualities; our army on the western 
front cannot retreat nor can we retire, for we 
lack reserves to protect and cover a rearward 
movement, so the enemy compels me to fight 
to the last ditch, (Loud knocking is heard), 

1st, WITCH— Who is it that dares disturb 
this meeting? 

VON COW— I, General Von Cow, just re- 
turned from Detmold with conveyance for his 
Majesty and the members of his staff, so please 
inform His Majesty of my arrival, 

1st, WITCH— I will, (Shuts door). Your 
Majesty, General Von Cow has arrived with 
conveyances for your departure, As our con- 
jurations are ended you and your staff will 
please leave the cave, as it is not permitted for 
any one to remain till break of day, 

WILHELM— 'Tis well, we will depart, but 
first and last I thank you for bringing up the 
Spirits of the dead to my view and hearing, 
but deeply regret that one refused to appear. 



for which I will not blame any of the Witches of 
Bielefield, 

1st, WITCH— But your Majesty did see the 
full number of the Spirits, as was inscribed upon 
your list, for Frederick the Great was replaced 
by Pope Pius X, 

WILHELM— True, but Popes have no lik- 
ing for such as I or you, 

1st, WITCH— We're well aware of that. 
Your Majesty, but we fear them not, 
(1st, Witch hobbles toward the door, leaning 
on her staff), 

2nd, WITCH— Sire, Charon has ferried 
over the Styx all those whom you had ca'led, 
but has refused to take Pius X because he did 
not pay his fare, so if your Majesty will pay the 
two fares Charon will preform his duty, 

WILHELM — How much are the fares? 

2nd, WITCH— Two Obolus, six pennies, 
U, S, coin, or 12 coins of your Empire, Sire, 

WILHELM— And if I refuse what will be 
the consequences? 

2nd, WITCH— Charon will refuse to con- 
vey the unhappy shade of Pius X across and it 
will be doomed to wander restlessly along the 
shores of Acheron, 

WILHELM— I then refuse to contribute one 
cent. Let his shade be doomed, it is God's 
strafing for butting in where he was not called. 
Now, you who can bring back the Spirits of the 



dead, you can no doubt foretell my future, I pray 
you to do so, 

2nd, WITCH — Sire, I can only warn you 
to beware of the number Thirteen, 

WILHELM— Why Thirteen? 

2nd, WITCH — Because your Majesty is 
commonly called 'Kaiser William,' so beginning 
with your name of thirteen letters I will name 
others. When you were crowned the Pope, 
who then presided at the Vatican, was "Cardinal 
Pecci" Leo XIII,, and he it was who decided 
against Germany, and awarded the "Caroline 
Isles" to Spain, Again, when your Majesty 
dropt your faithful Pilot Bismark, you replaced 
him with a losing thirteen "Prince Caprivi", 
And, most disastrous to your ambition to rule 
the world. Sire, was that thirteen of England, 
"Sir Edward Grey," who threw Great Britian 
into the scales 'gainst you. Now comes the 
most powerful thirteen, and one who over- 
shadows them all, "Woodrow Wilson," backed 
by that Invincible Flag of Thirtee,i Stripes, 
and most ably aided by his chief advisor, "Rob- 
ert Lansing," They have sent the Stars 
and Stripes to be unfurled on French soil, there 
to remain in charge of a fighting 13, John J, 
Pershing, until your armies are defeated — until 
the World is assured that no more cannons are 
"Made in Germany", That is all I will say, 



Be<ware of No. 13 




and will ask you. Sire, to leave, as day is fast 
approaching, 

WILHELM— I thank you for calling my 
attention to that, to me, fatal Thirteen, I will 
add that my greatest obstacle for a peace is 
that same Thirteen "Strasburg-Metz," Good 
Bye, (All leave the Cave), 

VON COW— Sire, below are three au'.os, 
it was impossible to get horses in Detmold, I, 
however, succeded in getting new accoutre- 
ments, I await your pleasure, Sire, 

WILHELM— Well done. Von Cow, Vor- 
waerts, take the lead and we will leave this 
accursed place, (All march down the steep 
and rocky defile,) 

VON BELLOWS— When I was a small boy 
I often was sent to the bakery for a dozen pre- 
tzels. The baker always gave me an extra 
one, which I ate, therefore I never could see 
any bad luck in number thirteen, 

VON DER GOAT— If your Ma.issty will note, 
you have succeeded in getting rid of a th r;een, 

WILHELM— How and when. Von Cer Goa.? 

VON DER GOAT— Why, when ycur Ma'es^y 
refused to pay six pennies to have Charon 
ferry over Pius X, 

WILHELM— How do you make out Pius 
X a Thirteen? 

VON DER GOAT— Well his name was "Giu- 
seppe Sarto," thirteen letters. Sire, 



WILHELM— Good, I shall not forget that 
on my next decoration day. Von Der Goat, 

VON COW— I, for one, am not supersti- 
tious, but explain to me. Von Der Goat, how is 
it that a thirteen made a promise to our Emper- 
or, but did not come through with the goods? 

WILHELM— Who was that, and what did 
he promise me, Von Cow? 

VON COW— "Von Fall<enhayn," He pro- 
mised you Verdun, Sire, 

WILHELM— Enough, the first one who 
mentions that number to me hereafter, shall 
be shot, (The party have arrived at the bottom 
of the hill,) 

VON COW— Here are the three autos, 
Sire, and the three messengers who have 
come from the battle fronts, and I trust that 
they bring your Majesty good news, (The 
three messengers approach the Emperor, salute 
and each one gives him a large official en- 
velope,) 

WILHELM— Turn on the light here so I 
can read these messages, (The search light 
of the first auto is turned on and the Emperor 
reads in an audible voice) "If your Majesty 
cannot send me reinforcement, then l]y all means 
come to the eastern front, I fear that all our 
plans must be changed, for I fear the inaction 
of the Russian's more than any of their bayonet 
charges. Assuring -your Majessty of ultimate 
victory, I remain, etc. General Von Mutt," 



(Takes second letter and continues), 
"As a supplement to my last advice to 
your Majesty, I beg to report that the enemy 
under General Cardorna, had crossed the Isonzo, 
Emperor Charles will be here to-morrow to 
enthuse his army to make a stand to save the 
Peak of San Gabriele, but I fear it is too late, 
unless your IVIajesty sends reinforcement at the 
earliest possible moment, With deep apprecia- 
tions for your Majesty's favors, I remain at 
Your Command, 

General Von Eiselkopf," 
(Takes last letter and reads on), 
"Sire, General Haig has attacked the 
Green Grassier, and I fear that Lens will have 
to be evacuated, I could not communicate with 
Hinderbugs, as we cannot locate him. He left 
yesterday on an important mission — I under- 
stood it was to confer with your Majesty, The 
attack upon our trenches was led by the Mani- 
tobans, and believe me. Sire, there were many, 
If Hinderbugs does not return soon, and with 
reinforcement sufficinent to be able to make a 
successful counter attack, we will have to order 
a retirement, 

I Sincerely pray for your Majesty's success. 

General Von Boob," 
(The Emperor now gets busy,) 
WILH ELM— Here, Von Hinderbugs, take 
this message, it pertains to you, Take first 
auto with messenger from your front and go 



immediately to Lens by way of Warburg; read 
tlie message at your leisure on your way, 
You, Von Bellows, with Von Der Goat and Austri- 
an messenger, take second auto and speed away 
to Vienna as soon as possible, Here, Fall<en- 
staff, get ready, we go to Berlin, passing through 
Detmold, and Magdeberg, (For a few minutes 
all are busily engaged putting on their accoutre- 
ments. Enter their respective autos and speed 
away and exit all,) 

August 30th, 1917. 



j^ ^Aw J^^ 



Notes 



ACROBATIC POEM— J, B, German's Fright is 
the title, In J, B, German's Fright is contained 
the initial of the nations at war; also J, B, 
means John Bull, German's Fright, 

ALVA — Fernando Alvarez Ds Toledo Duke of — 
Born 1508, was sent into the Netherlands at 
the head of 10,000 men with unlimited powers 
for the extirpation of heretics, Alva boasted 
that in six years he executed 18,000 men 
and women through and l]y his "Bloody Tri- 
bunal," He was recalled by his bigoted 
master Philip II, in 1573, 

APRIL— Month of War Declaration for the U, S, 
War of the Revolution, April 19, 1775 
Black Hawk Indian War, April 21 1831 
War with Mexico, April 24th, 1846 
Civil War, April 12th, 1861, 
Spanish-American War, April 21st, 1893, 

ARMADA— "The Invincible"— Sailed from Lis- 
bon May 29, 1583, Fleet consisted of 129 
large vessels and carried 19,295 soldiers and 
8,460 sailors, besides slaves and rowers, and 
2,431 cannons. Defeated and destroyed on 
July 19, 1583, l]y the English Navy under 
Admiral Lord Howard, of Effingham, 

ARMINIUS— Born 18, B, C, Annihilated the 



whole Roman army, under Varus, in 9 A, D, 
This sanguinary l}attle, wliicli lasted three 
days, freed tlie German race from the op- 
pressive Roman yoke, Arminius was assass- 
inated l]y his own people wliile trying to quell 
an internecine strife among the German tribes, 
in the year 20 A, D, 

AUGUSTUS— Roman Emperor, l)orn 63, B, C, 
In 29, B, C,| he closed the Temple of Janus 
with most pompus ceremony and proclaimed 
universal peace, In the year 9, A, D,, Aug- 
ustus suffered tlie one crushing defeat of his 
reign at the hand of the Germans, led by Ar- 
minus, The loss so afflicted the Emperor 
that lie cried in anguish "Oh! Varus give 
me back n)y Legions," and allowed his beard 
and hair to grow as a sign of deep mourning, 
Died 14, A, D, 

BENEDICT— Cardinal Delia Chiesa, formerly 
Archbishop of Bologna, Was elected Pope 
September, 3, 1914, 

BIELEFELD — Town in tlie Prussian province of 
West Phalia, First mentioned in the 9th, 
century as Belanvelde; situate near the west- 
ern side of the Teutol)erger-Waldc, 

BONAPARTE— Napoleon, Born at Ajaccio, 
August, 15, 1769, Crowned Emperor of the 
French at Notre Dame, Paris, Pope Pius VII 
officiating, Napoleon however, took the 
crown from the Pope's hand and placed it 
on his own head. Abdicated April 11, 1814, 



Battle of Waterloo Juiio 18, 1815, Second 
abdication June 22, 1815, and was banislied 
to tlie Island of St, Helena, where lie died 
May, 5, 1821, 

BRYAN— William Jeimin.^s, Appointed Secre- 
tary of State by President Woodrow Wilson 
March 4, 1913, Resigned June 8, 1915, 

CAESAR— Caius Julius, Born 100 B, C, First 
invasion of England, 55 B, C, whither Caesar 
was led partly by curiosity and partly by a 
desire to detach the Celtic Confederacy from 
Britian, which was the sure asylum of political 
refugees. In 44 B, C, he refused the crown 
offered to him by Mark Anthony, and a month 
later, being the Ides of March was assassi- 
nated, 

CANOSSA— A ruined castle of north Italy, 12 
miles S, W, of Reggie, In its courtyard the 
Empeior Henry IV stood in penitential garb 
for three days (Jan, 25-27, 1070) before Pope 
Gregory VII admitted him to his presence and 
removed the ban of excommunication, To 
"Go to Canossa" is the modern phase for 
preforming an act of humiliation at the com- 
pulsion of another, 

CHAPULTEPEC— A castle two miles S, W, of 
Mexico City, taken by the U, S, troops under 
Gen, Scott, September, 13 1847, 

CHARLES V-Emperor of Germany, King of 
Spain and the Netherlands, Born at Ghent, 
Belgium, Fel)ruary 24, 1500, Presided at 



the Diet of Worms, 1521, to try Martin Lutlier 
for heresy. Abdicated, October, 1555, 

CHARLES XII— King of Sweden, Born June, 
27, 1682, Crowned in 1692, Invaded 
Russia and Poland, For three years he forced 
the Russian army to a continual retreat. At 
last Peter the Great made a stand at Pultowa, 
July, 9, 1709, and most decisively defeated 
and destroyed the Swedish army and Charles 
XII was compelled to escape to Turkey,, where 
he remained for three years. Meanwhile 
Sweden was completely crushed by her ene- 
mies, Charles returned to Sweden in 1712 
and was killed at the siege of Frederickshall 
December 11, 1718, 

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE— July, 4 
1776, 

DETMOLD— Chief town in the principality of 
Lippe, Germany, situated east side of the 
Teutoberger-Walde, Three miles S, W, of 
Detmold stands the colossal statue of Ar- 
minius, 

EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION— By Abraham 
Lincoln, August 22, 1862, 

ETZEL— Chief of the Huns, defeated at the 
battle of Chalons, A, D,, 451, Called Attila 
a ruthless barbarian. He assumed the title 
of "The Scourge of God," The following will 
explain why the civilized people call the Ger- 
man soldiers "Huns"; When the present 
Emperor of Germany sent out his puntitive 



expedition to Cliina lie addressed liis soldiers 
as follows: "When you encounter tlie enemy 
you will defeat him, No quarters shall be 
given; no prisoners shall be taken, Let all 
who fall into your hands be at your mercy. 
Just as the Huns, a thousand years ago, under 
the leadership of Etzel, gained a reputation 
by virtue of which they live in historical 
tradition, so may the name of Germany be- 
come known in such manner in China that 
no Chinaman will ever again even dare to 
look askance at a German," 

FREDERICK THE GREAT— Born January 24, 
1712, Crowned King of Prussia, Conduct- 
ed the "Seven Years War" and at the peace 
conference at Hubertsburg, February 15, 
1763, he not only maintained his territory 
undiminished, but he had also added a ten- 
fold prestige to Prussia and to Prussian 
arms, He died August 17, 1786, 

HAMILCAR— Barca, The most illustrious of 
the Carthaginian Generals, Born 270 B, C, 
He was the father of the "Lion's Brood" — 
Hannibal, Hadrusbal and Mago, He made 
his eldest son Hannibal, at the age of nine, 
swear on the alter of supreme Carthaginian 
deity eternal hatred and enmity of Rome, 

HANNIBAL— Bom 247, B, C, Invaded Italy, 
218, and his second army of invasion arrived 
in Italy, led by his brother Hadrusbal, in 207 
B, C, Tried to form junction with Hannibal, 



but was defeated and slain by the Romans 
under Claudius Nero, who ordered the head 
of Hadrusbal thrown into the tent of Han- 
nibal, When Hannibal saw his brother's 
head he exclaimed "Ron^e will be the mistress 
of the world," Hannibal died by his own 
hand by poison in 188, B, C, See Zama, 

HENRY IV— Holy Roman Emperor, Born 1050, 
crowned King of Germany at the age of four, 
during his father's lifetime, Henry's reign 
was one of the most troubled in German his- 
tory. Died 1106, 

HERIVIAN — The German name for Arminius, 

HOLLWEG— Von Bethmann, German Chancellor, 
appointed July 14, 1909, Resigned, July, 
14, 1917, 

JANUS — Temple of, A Roman god, after whom 
the month of January was named. His 
temple was open in war and closed during 
peace, 

LANSING— Robert, Appointed Secretary of 
State by President Wilson, June, 23, 1915, 

LUTHER— MARTIN, The greatest protestant 
reformer of the 16th century. Born at Eisel- 
eben, Germany, 1483, Wrote his defy 
against the Roman Church and nailed the 
paper on the door of the church at Witten- 
berg, October, 29, 1517, At the Diet of 
Worms, before his Emperor Charles V, and 
his powerful accusers, he finished his de- 
fense with the memorable words; "Here I 



stand; I can't do otherwise,'' Was conde:iin- 
ed to be burned, but escaped, He died in 
Ills native town' February 17, 1546 

MAGNA CHARTA— The Great Charter granted 
by King John of England to tlie barons; is 
the basis of the English constitution. At 
Runnymede the barons forced their king to 
sign the Charter on June 19, 1215, 

MARNE— River in France, Battle of the Marne 
September 8, and 9, 1914, At this engage- 
ment the Germans were compelled to retire 
to the Aisne, That battle not only saved 
France, but it demonstrated that the Germans 
could not win, for their high tide of invasion 
had been reached and the ebb had set in. 
For that reason the battle of the Marne will 
no doubt take rank as one of the decisive 
battles of the world, 

MEPHISTOPHELES— A devil, and one of the 
best known personifications of evil, 

METARUS— Battle of tlie, B, C, 207, Claudius 
Nero and Marcus Livius, combined, by forced 
marches deceived both Hannibal and Hadrus- 
bal. Annihilated the army of the latter near 
the banks of the Metauro, See Hannibal, 

MORDKESSEL— der German, the kettle of 
slaughter, the supposed place where Varus 
fell, 

NAPOLEON'S NEMESIS—England, who fought 
Bonaparte for sixteen years and finally de- 
feated him at Waterloo, 



OBOLOS — A small silver coin of Athens, value 
three cents, 

PHILIP II— King of Spain and the Netherlands, 
son and successor of his father, Charles V. 
Was born 1527, During his reign he used 
all the power of the Spanish Inquisition to 
crush all who opposed his tyranny, Ijut the 
effect in the low countries was a forniidable 
revolt, whicli ended in 1579, with the northern 
part, the Seven United Provinces, achieving 
Independence, Philip died in 1598, 

PETER THE GREAT— Peter l„ Alexandreievich, 
born 1672, In 1703, on May 27, he laid 
the foundation for a new capital, St Peters- 
burg, now called Petrograd, In his long con- 
test with Sweden the Russians were almost 
always defeated. He had his revenge at last 
in totally rout'ng the Swedish King, Charles 
XII, at Pultowa, Peter died in 1725, 

QUATREBRAS— Also written, "Quatre Bras;" 
was the scene of a British victory over the 
French, under Marshall Ney, on June 16, 
1815, being a part of the Battle of Waterloo, 

TEUTOBERGER-WALDE— A forest in Germany, 
This region still retains the name, "Teuto- 
berger-Walde Teutobergionsis saltus," which 
it bore in the days of Arminius, 

TREATY — Hay-Pauncefote, between the United 
States and Great Britian, to facilitate the 
construction of a ship canal. Ratifications 
exchanged at Washington, February 21, 1902, 



TRIPLE ALLIANCE— Entered into by Germany, 
Austria-Hungary and Italy, May 20, 1882, 
Was renewed in 1891 for a period of 12 years 
and on June 26, 1902, was again renewed 
for the same period, terminating in the early 
part of December, 1912, 

TRIPLE ENTENTE— Includes Great Britian, 
France and Russia, and with the friendship 
of Italy, The agreement was made between 
Great Britian and France in 1904 and with 
Russia in 1907, "The Triple Entente Com- 
prising Great Britian, France and Russia, 
and the friendliness of Italy, is formed of 
nations having a common interest and who 
are friendly toward each other, amounting 
to a reciprocal regard. Whereas, the Triple 
Alliance is formed of nations who have nothing 
in common and who, furthermore, are mortal 
enemies. It is to be noted in this connection 
that Germany was the only nation that DID 
NOT offer condolence in regard to the catas- 
trophe causesd by the eruption of Vesuvius," 
N, Y, World Encyclopedia, 

VARUS— QLiintilius, Roman general sent by Aug- 
ustus to command the Roman Legions in 
Germany, in the year A, D, 7, See Arminius, 

VICEGERENT— Having or exercising delegated 
power, At the outbreak of the present war 
Emperor Wilhelm II illustrated his spirit of 
fanatical absolutism by saying to his army; 



"Remember that the German people are the 
chosen of God, On me, as German Emperor, 
the spirit of God has descended, I am His 
weapon; His sword; His Vicegerent; woe to 
the disobedient! Death to cowards and un- 
believers!" 

WASHINGTON— George, The Father of his 
Country, Born February 22, 1732, Com- 
mander of the Continental arniy. First presi- 
dent of the United States of America, 1789, 
Died at Mount Vernon, December 14, 1799, 

WILHELM II— Third Emperor of Germany and 
Ninth King of Prussia, Born at Berlin, Jan- 
uary 27, 1859, Succeeded his father, Fred- 
erick III, June 15, 1888, 

WILSON — Woodrow, the twenty-eighth presi- 
dent of the United States, Born at Staunton, 
Virginia, Dec, 28, 1856, This "Scholar in 
Politics" has proven and turned out to be 
a great man of action. His war IVIessage 
to Congress, April 2, 1917, stands second to 
no other state paper in the history of the 
world. In its importance to manl<ind it will 
be placed by posterity with the Magna Charta, 
Declaration of Inependence and Lincoln's 
Proclamation of Emancipation, 

XERXES — The greatest invader of anc'ent 
time. Born 485, B, C, He accompanied 
his forces on their march through Thrace, 
Thesaly and Locris; witnessed the battle of 



Thermopylae and the destruction of his fleet 
at Salaniis, He was murdered by Artabanus 
in 465, B, C, 

ZAMA— Battle of, 201, B, C, where Hannibal 
was utterly defeated by the Roman army 
under Scipio Africanus, This memoral3le 
dicisive battle compelled Carthage to sue 
for peace, 

ZEEBRUGGE— A seaport of Belgium, Province 
of W, Flanders, Zeebrugge is now held by 
the Germans and is used as a submarine 
base. 

Declarations of War Frevious to the Entrance 
of the United States. 

1914 

July 28 — Austria vs. Serbia 

Aug. 1 — Germany vs. Russia 

Aug. 3 — Germay vs. Prance 

Aug. 4 — Germany vs. Belgium 

Aug. 4 — *Prance vs Germany 

Aug. 4 — Great Brltian vs. Germany 

Aug. 6 — Austria vs. Russia 

Aug. 7 — Montenegro vs. Russia 

Aug. 10 — France vs. Austria 

Aug. 10 — Austria vs. Prance 

Aug. 12 — Great Britiau vs. Austria 

Aug. 12 — Montenegro vs. Germany 

Aug. 2.3 — Japan vs. Germany 

Aug. 25 — Austria vs. Japan 

Aug. 2 8 — Austria vs. Belgium 

Oct. 29 — *Turkey vs. Russia 

Nov. 2 — Russia vs. Turkey 

Nov. 5 — Great Britian vs. Turkey 

Nov. 5 — Prance vs. Turkey 

Nov. 7 — Belgium vs. Turkey 



Nov. 7 — Serbia vs. Turkey 

Nov. 10 — Montenegro vs. Turkey 

1915 
May 23 — Italy vs. Austria 
June 3 — San Marino vs. Austria 
Aug. 20 — Italy vs. Turkey 
Oct. 7 — Russia vs. Bulgaria 
Oct. 14 — Bulgaria vs. Serbia 
Oct. 14 — Great Britain vs. Bulgaria 
Oct. 16 — Bulgaria vs. Russia 
Oct. 10 — France vs. Bulgaria 
Oct. 18 — Italy vs. Bulgaria 
Oct. 18 — Montenegro vs. Bulgaria 

1916 
Mar. 9 — Germany vs. Portugal 
Mar. 10 — Portugal vs. Germany 
Mar. 16 — * Austria vs. Portugal 
Aug. 2 8 — Italy vs. Germany 
Aug. 28 — Rumania vs. Austria 
Aug. 28 — Germany vs. Rumania 
Aug. 30 — tRuniania vs. Bulgaria 
Aug. 31 — Turkey vs. Rumania 
Sept. — Bulgaria vs. Rumania 
* Began hostilities without formal 
declaration. 
t Ultimatum. 



JTtftrcii i3rrt5ilir l^attlrs in the litstoru 
of tijc Pm-Ii> 



BATTLE OF MARATHON — B. 0. 490. Datis and Ara- 
phernes. satraps of King Darius I. with a force oi 
100.000 men, are utterly put to lout and defeated 
by tlie Athenians and the Plataens under command o. 
Miltiades, who had but 11,000 men. 

DEFEAT OF THE ATHENIANS — E. C. 413. At Marathon 
the Athenians struggled for self-preservation against 
the invading armies of the East and won a glorious 
victory. At Syracuse she appears as the ambitious 
and oppressive invader of others and was ingloriously 
defeated. 

BATTLE OF ARBELA — B. C. 331. Alexander the Great 
defeats Darius in, Persian ir.vader who escapes from 
the battle field to Bactria, where he was murdered 
by his Bactrian Satrap, Bessns. 

BATTLE OF THE METAURUS — B. C. 207 (See Notes.) 

VICTORY OF ARMINIUS— A. D. 9 (See Notes.) 

BATTLE OF CHALONS — A. D. 451. The Roman Gen- 
eral Aetius and his Gothic Allies defeat Attila. chief 
of the Huns, whose savage boast was that grass never 
grew on a spot where his horse had trodden This 
battle took place five miles from the City of Chalons- 
Sur-Marne and about sixty miles east from the place 
where was fought the Battle of the Marne, Septem- 
ber, 6-7-8. 1914, and being the second Hun defeat on 
that famous river. 

BATTLE OF TOURS — A. D. 732. Charles Martel de- 
feats the Saracens under Abderrahman, who was slain 
on the field and the Moselm invaders put to flight. 

BATTLE OP HASTINGS — A. D. 1066. William of 
Normandy defeats Harold II of England and by that 
victory becomes William I of England and surnamed 
William the Conqueror. 



JOAN OF ARC'S VICTORY — A. D. 1429. The French, 
under the inspiring leadership of Joan of Arc, defeat 
the Englisli at Orleans and thereby insured the de- 
liverance of France from the English. Joan of Arc 
was tried before an ecclesiastical Tribunal on the 
charge of Witchcraft, and on the 30th of May, 1431, 
she was burned aKve in the market place at Rouen. 

DEFEAT OP THE SPANISH ARMADA — A. D. 15S8. 
(See Notes.) 

BATTLE OP BLENHEIM— A. D. 1704. Here the am- 
bitious aggression of Louis IV was curbed and de- 
cisively defeated by the Allies under John Churchill 
Duke of Marlborough, who never fought a battle that 
he did not win. and never besieged a place that he 
did not take. The Allies were England, Holland, 
Austria, Prussia and Portugal. After the battle of 
Blenheim, Ulm, Landau. Treves and Traerbach sur- 
rendered to the Allies. Before the close of the year 
Bavaria submitted to the Emperor and the Hungarians 
laid down their arms, and Germany was completely 
delivered from the military power of Louis XIV. 

BATTLE OF PULTOWA — A. D. 1709. (See Notes.) 

DEFEAT OP BURGOYNE — October 7th, 1777. Being 
the battle of Saratoga. Revolutionary War. 5,790 
men surrendered to General Gates. Burgoyne's reg- 
ular troops amounted, exclusive of the corps of 
artillery, to about 7200 men, rank and file, nearly 
half of these were Germans. He had also an auxiliary 
force of about 2500 Canadians. He sommoned the 
warriors of several tribes of Indians near the Western 
lakes to join his army. 

BATTLE OF VALMY— September 20, 1792. The French, 
under Kellerman, defeat the invading Prussian and 
French noblesse. The latter were to lead the way 
upon defenseless Paris. On the very day and at the 
selfsame hour in which the allied forces and the em- 
igrants began to descend from La Lune, to the attack 
of Valmy, and while the cannonade was opening be- 
tween the Prussian and revolutionary batteries, the 
debate in the National Convention at Paris commenced 



on the proposal to proclaim France a Republic. On 
the following day the Proclamation making France a 
Republic was issued and made public. 
BATTLE OF WATERLOO— June 18, 1815. Napoleon 
Bonaparte defeated by the Allies, under the Duke of 
Wellington. The Allies were England, Prussia, Ba- 
varia, Russia and Austria. 



WARS OF U. S. 



War of the Revolution — April 19, 1775 to April 11, 1783 
War With France — July 9. 1798 to Sept. 30, 1800 
War With Tripoli — June 10. 1801 to June 4, 1805 
Creek Indian War — July 27, 1813 to Aug. 9. 1814 
War With Great Britain — June 12,1812 to Feb. 17, 1815 
Seminole Indian War — Nov. 20, 1817 to Oct. 21, 1818 
Black Hawk Indian War — April 21, 1831 to Sept. 30, 1832 
Florida Indian War — Dec. 23, 1835 to Aug. 14, 1843 
War With Mexico — April 24, 1846 to July 4, 1848 
Apache, Navajo and Utah War — April 24, 1849 to July 4, 

1885 
Seminole India War — April 24,1856 to July 5, 1865 
Civil War— April 24, 1861 to April 9, 1865. 
Spanish American War — April 21, 1898 to Dec. 10. 1898 
War With Germany — April 6, 1917 to * 

*To the Centennial year of the first Seminole Indian 
War. 



Gazette Publishing Company 
Martinez. California 



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